A Boy and His Love for an Eating Utensil
by Dangrassi
Summary: Travis and a spoon? What can top that? Me being a twisted sick fool? Even better! So, read. Now.


**A/N: Hey everyone! I'm alive!**

**I know I haven't been updating my fics, and I'm very very very sorry about that. School's been hell with the work and I've been very busy on the weekends, which is really the only time I can write. I hope I can finish _Where Am I_ **, **and write a new chapter for _Happy Go Nutso Roscoe_ soon though. Thanks for all your wonderful reviews. :)**

**Disclaimer: Yes, I own RFR. And pigs fly. Come on, people! As if! **

**This is a little humor/parody (or is it visa versa?) ficlet that I got the idea from a chat with Caalan. Crazy stuff people. You have been warned. **

**Dedicated to anyone that's been having a rough couple of days, weeks, or months and need to laugh at something stupid.**

**This takes place after Rah Rah Revenge. **

A Boy and His Love for an Eating Utensil 

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Dani: Travis is always used for plot advancement with the girls! Ahh! _

_Caalan: He can't help it. The chemistry just oozes from him._

_Dani: I know! The guy could have chemistry with a spoon. :) _

_Caalan: lmao! That would make a good fic_

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The jingling of the hanging door bells announced the entry of Travis Strong into Mickey's Discs on a late Monday afternoon. 

Alone.

Travis was usually accompanied by his best friends after the radio show, but today they were all busy. Robbie had to help with an errand for his Mom. Lily had to run out and buy a new amp: Megan had successfully punctured the old one while doing her "throwing the drumstick" finale. Ray…had to watch wrestling? Travis wasn't too sure.

Travis lazily flopped onto the old couch and gave out a large sigh. He pulled out his CD player from out of his back pack and placed the headphones on his ears. Blocking all sounds of the busy Mickey Discs, Travis closed his eyes and became absorbed in the music. Travis was an interesting character. Literally. Though..slightly abused in way.

I mean, think about it, when was the last time there was an actual TRAVIS episode? The Imposter? Zen and the Art of Bicycle Maintenance? When I say Travis episode, I mean full throttle Travis. Travis being mysterious, Travis being wise, Travis spitting out Buddha quotes like it was his job! What happened? Why is he suddenly used to advance the plot? The love triangles? WHY?

The end of More Than A Single..he kissed Lily, his girlfriend's best friend. Sure, it was a SURPRISE! It was intense, man, it was DIFFERENT! It had Rily fans in an uproar and Trily fans dancing with glee. The ending of the season had everyone on their toes, Rily and Trily fans alike. All were asking: "What's going to happen next?"

I will tell you what happened next. Travis and Ray start fighting over Lily, making a very cute plot indeed…for the first couple of episodes. Then all of a sudden, Bridget comes flying out of nowhere and there is Travis: Totally forgetting about Lily, and playing tonsil tennis with Bridget in the second episode she is in. It makes you want to press the freeze button on your remote and ask yourself…what the hell just happened?

No, it did not end there. Just when you thought the triangle was over for good, Bridget leaves and has Travis all alone. Lily is all alone after Ray runs off with a Mary Sue. Do I even have to SAY what happened next?

So, as you can see, Travis is an overly used character in this…love plot the RFR writers have pulled out. Some say he is a whore. Some say he's been character raped. Caalan says he can not help it: the chemistry just oozes out of him. If that's true, the guy could be with anyone and ANYTHING! Geez, the guy could be with a SPOON!

…a spoon.

Travis pressed the fast forward button on his CD player, skimming through the mix of songs he had created. Track 3, track 4, track 5, track – BEEP! Travis glanced at the display screen, only to see a little message popping up announcing "Low battery."

Don't you hate those things?

Travis groaned in frustration as he smacked the CD player with his hand, hoping with some luck it would play again. With the CD player remaining stubbornly mute, Travis removed the headphones from over his ears, letting them hang off his neck. The sounds of the busy Mickey's filled his ears once again as he laid his head against the back of the couch and let out a large sigh.

What was wrong with him? What was he doing wrong? Why was it so hard to find someone…and stick with them? Why were obstacles always coming into play, throwing him off course and veering him into the directions of other girls when all he really wanted was ONE! Why? Why? Why! Questions like this were spinning around in Travis' head at 100 mph. He squeezed his eyes shut hoping to block the thoughts out…but they kept coming back.

Well, of course, we the viewers know why. We know everything. We knew about Ray's crush on Lily, we knew about Robbie and Kim, we knew about Lily being jealous- hell, we even know what's going to happen with all those previews we see!

Talk about your dramatic irony.

Travis opened his eyes after a few moments. It was hopeless. He was a complete screw up. Nothing would be right again. He would never have a girlfriend for more then a week. He would never –

Something suddenly caught Travis' eye and stopped him and his mental battle against himself short.

It was a reflection of an object from on top of a vacant table on the other side of Mickey's. Curious, Travis got up from the couch to get a better look. Taking his belongings, he walked closer and closer to the table until he was staring down at the mysterious object sitting before him.

It was a spoon. Yes, a spoon. It rested, unmoving, on the table's smooth surface. As Travis stared at it, the fans spinning overhead created the impression of the spoon glittering as light bounced on it. Fascinated, Travis pulled a seat out and sat on it, gazing in awe at it.

Very carefully, Travis lifted the spoon off the table and cradled it gently in his two hands. Holding it as if it was a great treasure, he continued to cherish it, ignoring the hustle and bustle of Mickey's around him.

The spoon within his hands was smooth and slender. The metal that it was created of was so very lightweight, that it felt delicate. So delicate, that if anything were to make physical contact with it, it felt like would shatter instantly as if a thin sheet of glass. Travis ran his index finger slowly down the stem of the spoon, admiring the criss cross designs that were engraved on it.

Somehow, to him, this spoon was a piece of art. No, it was beautiful. It did not cheat, it did not lie. It did not get bitchy and dump him. Even better, it seemed to love him back. (We won't get into Miss Spoon's own history with Fork and Knife.) Travis smiled to himself as he saw his upside down reflection at the round end of the spoon…

How friggen cool is that?

The jingling of the door bells announced a new visitor into Mickey's: Lily Randall.

She had worn her hair loose today. Her hair fell over her shoulders like freshly spun gold, standing out against her small plain black short sleeved shirt. The sun streaming through the window shades made her hair shimmer as she turned side to side, searching for someone.

Two hours ago, Travis wouldn't have called her over immediately, in order to admire her from afar if only for that few moments. Admire her large greenish-blue eyes as they moved back and forth, scanning the room. And admire her long hair…her long hair that seemed to shine even on dreary wet cloudy days. But – that was two hours ago. Right now, Travis didn't even notice her entry. He was too preoccupied in beaming down at the spoon, or ….his new found love maybe?

Plus, the spoon was just _that_ much shinier.

Finally after a few seconds, Lily spotted Travis on the other side of the room. With a smile now playing on her lips, she began to walk over to where he was sitting.

Travis, still did not notice her approach, and did not notice the pats on the backs, warm smiles, and "Congrats!" Lily received as she walked through the busy Mickey's to him.

"Hey Trav! I thought I would find you here." Lily said, grinning from ear to ear as she pulled out the chair across from him and plopped down on it.

"Hey…" Travis said, rather distantly, barely looking up at her. Lily did not seem to notice as she quickly pushed a piece of loose hair behind her hair and grinned wider while she took a glance around.

"I've been getting that all day!" Lily exclaimed, rather giddily. "Everyone loved the music video! They said it was the best comeback to cheerleaders in Henry Roscoe High history!" Lily glanced excitedly at Travis for his reaction, but he offered none as he continued staring down at the spoon in his hands. Lily raised an eyebrow slightly but continued anyway. "Sure..I mean I feel bad about Jordan." Lily frowned slightly at the thought, looking down at her hands. "But I really wasn't aiming it at her….just Audrey. I do hope she's alright with the rest of the team."

Lily stopped babbling on, and one again glanced at Travis' face, hoping for some kind of quote of advice, wise words, or even his own opinion…but he still was silent. Lily pursed her lips together, trying not to get annoyed. What was with him?

There was something with Travis. He felt as if he was floating on a cloud. Suddenly, the Buddhist rule against the collection of all material objects had slipped from his mind, and all he could think about was-

"Well, anyway.." Lily said after a few moments of silence. "I really came here to find you, and to tell you how much we kicked ass Friday." Lily beamed. "You can't count how many dirty looks I got from the cheerleading squad today."

Then Lily cautiously reached her hand across the table until it was only centimeters near Travis' own. He still did not bring his gaze upwards. "And I just wanted to tell you…" Lily continued softly, slightly nervously. "..that I truly could not have done it without you. It means so much to me, Travis." Lily slowly raised her gaze from her and Travis' almost touching hands to his face.

She was smiling: the soft sweet smile that Travis loved. She sat there, radiating with happiness, flushed slightly, surprised even at herself. It was the smile that Travis saw for weeks being given to Ray, who was oblivious to it all. Ray could not see it. It was the smile that Travis longed for, hoping that Lily, one day, would look at him that way.

So, here they were. It was that day. But the roles had been switched. Travis was the blind one now.

Travis did not now what was going on around him. No clue. Lily's words had gone in one ear and out the other without even catching hold of them and understanding what she was saying. Alas, he was too occupied…with the spoon.

As if shocked by electricity, Lily snapped her hand back. Sudden deep blush began to rise to her cheeks as she began to fumble on meaningless words. ("better get back." "Parker's waiting for me." "I need to help around the house, grandparents coming."), clearly embarrassed at her actions…and even more embarrassed of Travis' lack of reaction.

Travis only finally looked up to see Lily hastily standing up, grabbing her backpack up from the ground along with the plastic bag containing the new amp. "Where are you going, Lily?"

"I just really need to leave, that's all." Lily replied quickly, avoiding eye contact as she pretended to check her bags and make sure she had everything.

"Oh. Okay." Travis said, not seeming concerned with Lily's odd behavior. He then glanced down at the spoon in his hands, with a silly goofy smile.

Lily rushed to the exit of Mickey's. She was mortified. Horrified. Freaking EMBARRASSED! Finally, just finally she had the guts to just go ahead with what she was feeling with Travis. With no regrets. But, NO, Travis just ignored her and made her feel like a total fool. What was up with him?

Lily placed her hand on the door frame of Mickey's exit, taking a deep slow breath. Slowly, she turned back to take a final glance at Travis. He was still sitting there, still unaware of anything going on around him, staring down at the spoon in his hands…lovingly? Lily shook her head of the thought. She was seeing things. Travis looking at a spoon in THAT way? As if.

"Well, you screwed up big time Randall." Lily whispered to herself as she moved her eyes away from Travis and exited Mickey's, leaving him alone…with the spoon.

Little did she know, the spoon beat her to Travis' heart.

Now how much does that suck?

_Fin_

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**I'm a big fan of the one-word title. A random one-word title, like "Spoon."**

Nathan Carter: Wow! "Spoon." Yes.

_-Popgurls interview_

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**A/N: Yes. I'm a twisted fool. But it just makes it that much funnier, right? Who cares about Trily and Tarker..it's all about Travis and the SPOON man! The spoon!**

**I'll accept flames telling me I'm a crazy weirdo…which is sort of a waste of time because I already know that. ;) **

**A review would make me feel _all_ warm and fuzzy inside.**


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